


Here For You

by SteadyLittleSoldier



Series: Carry Your World [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is smol and soft, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boyfriends, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, John takes care, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Modern AU, Mpreg, Mute Alexander Hamilton, Muteness, Pregnant Alexander Hamilton, Trans Male Character, trans!alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 07:12:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10212296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteadyLittleSoldier/pseuds/SteadyLittleSoldier
Summary: Alex can't get up........Prequel toI'll Carry Your World. Sequel toJunior





	

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe read _I'll Carry Your World_ first because some stuff sare described there even though that is the sequel. But it won't be very confusing if you only read this one, so go ahead :) All you need to know is that Alex is mute and pregnant.

There is a spare bedroom in their new off-campus apartment. It’s not for guests really; they don’t have guests who stay the night. It’s for John. When George helped them find this place, the thought of this use of the room hadn’t occurred to John. But come to think of it, Alex hasn’t just started asking him to sleep in the other room all of a sudden. When they were at the dorms, John would ask Alex to spend the night in his room when his roommate wasn’t staying, and Alex would sometimes say no. Not just that, he would sometimes ask Aaron to stay somewhere else for the night. He isn’t straightforward about it though; he will look agitated, will flinch and jump at any sudden movement, will start signing a line then suddenly stop and sign, ‘Forget it.’ 

John actually  _ understands  _ these things, and he smiles and says, “I’ll sleep in the other room” and kisses Alex’s forehead. Alex asks to shut the door behind him, he feels safe that way. It’s not like he doesn’t want to be with John or he can’t stand him, Alex just wants to be alone. It’s as simple as that. 

And it’s that complicated.

As silly as it sounds, even though they are separated by just a thin wall, and they are so on their own will, they sometimes text each other. It’s usually Alex who starts it because John isn’t usually sure if Alex wants to talk or not. They don’t actually text about what happened and why, because they don’t need to, John understands. They just talk about silly and sappy things for a while and soon Alex says he is sleepy.

And on some very rare occasions, Alex comes to the spare bedroom in a timid pace, and slowly and soundlessly gets under the cover and curls around John resting his head on his chest and somehow manages to hide his face from John’s view, wrapping a hand around his middle, but his breathing gets even. John feels the baby bump pressed against his side and he kisses Alex’s hair and knows everything is going to be okay. “I missed you too.” 

John understands, even though he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t mind sleeping in the other room, he just worries. He checks up on Alex often during the night, he can’t help it. He doesn’t let Alex know though, he is careful. He finds the door locked sometimes. But Alex sleeps soundly mostly now that the morning sickness has subsided. Not that morning though.

The door is not locked that morning and John checks up on him first thing in the morning and finds his boyfriend sleeping with his brows slightly knitted. John wants to kiss the frown away from his face but resists, remembering Alex wanting to be alone last night. But he leans on the doorframe and watches for any sign of struggle, then smiles and leaves to make breakfast when he doesn’t see any. 

He doesn’t have class till 10:20. But Alex has class at 9, so he had to get up at 6 in the morning so he could make a healthy breakfast, make the other options half ready in case Alex was in mood for something else for breakfast, shower and get ready, wake Alex and then squeeze time out to help Alex get ready, have breakfast together. Then he will walk Alex to his classroom and go to the library to study or do homework until his class starts.

When did he grow up so fast? When did he become so mature? The realization hit him. He was just like any other college student, but now look at him. He smiles to himself. Maybe it’s because he has someone to take care of now. And it’s not just someone; it’s  _ Alex _ , the love of his life. Alex has unknowingly changed him and brought out the best in him. And John is spellbound by those chocolaty eyes that pour intelligence. How did he get so lucky? How did he get someone like Alex, who is sincere and loyal and beautiful and innocent and super smart and hardworking and has been through so much… the list goes on and on in John’s mind. John can’t believe sometimes that Alex actually loves him back - a guy who was such a typical college student who picked up fights, who got bored after dating a guy for three months, who let girls flirt with him just because he liked the attention, who would phone his dad the second he felt the need of something like a typical rich kid. What did Alex see in him?

 

He is done making breakfast is when he hears it – a thud on wood and then something breaking. John half runs to their bedroom and opens the door to find his boyfriend struggling to get up, sweaty and panting, eyes wide with alarm, tears rolling down his face non-stop. Before thinking about what was happening, John runs the small distance and kneels beside the bed on the floor and cups Alex’s face.

Before he can ask anything, Alex frantically signs, ‘Can’t get up. Can’t get up.’ It’s on the second time when John understands what Alex is trying to say. Alex pushes up with his elbows on the bed and falls back down on the bed again.

Alex starts to sign again and John holds both of his hands and puts them down gently. “Shh… shh, Alex, relax, please, you might hurt the baby.” Alex looks John in the eye and relaxes a little, but his breathing is still labored and tears still running. John notices his wet with sweat nightshirt and curses himself for not being here earlier.  He gets his wet hair out of his face asks him to take a deep breath in and out. “You’re safe baby, it’s okay. I’m here. Now gently… just don’t push up, ok? Just let me… ok?” And John gently gets Alex into a sitting position. 

Alex throws his hands over John’s shoulders and starts whimpering and hiccuping and taking long breaths. John rubs circles on his back and sways a little and prays it will calm his boyfriend. He slowly maneuvers him on his lap and feels one of Alex’s hands slithering between them to hold his baby bump protectively. “It’s okay… it’s okay.” John knows how much Alex detests feeling powerless. It drives him mad when he can’t do anything on his own, it makes him feel vulnerable. He is irrationally  _ scared _ of not being able to control his own body and brain, which is why therapy never worked for him. So when, with the swelling of his belly, his center of gravity changed and he couldn’t sit up the way he is used to, it scared him shitless and he panicked and couldn’t think straight. “Just turn on your side and then get up, ok? Or bend your knees… just call  _ me.”  _ John paused. “ God, you scared me, Alex…”

Alex pulls back and signs, ‘I did call you. Your phone was turned off. I texted you. I tried to make noise. You did not hear.’ Alex hiccuped as he complained. ‘Then I threw my phone at the door because it was the only thing in my reach.’

John brushed Alex’s wet hair with his fingers and kissed his forehead. “Oh, baby, I am  _ so _ sorry. My phone must have died after I got up, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.” 

Alex takes a deep breath as the tears stop and shakes his head. ‘It’s not your fault.’ he signs as John blows air at him in an attempt to stop him from sweating. ‘I think my phone broke.’

John looks at the phone on the floor. It definitely is broken. “I’m afraid it did.”

‘I’ll ask dad for another.’

“I’ll get you one.”

‘It’s okay, he will buy me another.’

“I’ll get you one.” John kisses his forehead again.

Alex sighs and closes his eyes as he hugs John again.

John hums and starts swaying again, thinking it will help Alex relax.

‘I should take a shower.’ Alex signs a few minutes later.

“You sure you can manage?” John asks. Alex nods. “Of course, you can” John smiles and takes Alex’s shirt off before helping him stand up. “Go ahead, I’ll bring you your towel and clothes.”

Alex is rinsing his hair when John gets him his towel and clothes for the day. It’s one of John’s hoodies and jeans - Alex would want to wear that today. He looks at his boyfriend and smiles. He loves him so much. He want to make everything right for him.  _ Everything _ . The smile turns sad because he realizes that he can’t. He can only try. Alex smiles back. “I made pancakes. Is that okay?” 

Alex gives him a thumbs up and grins adorably - such a change in mood just because John was here with him now. John thinks if Alex realizes that he completes him too. Or should he tell him, make him believe somehow?   
But he just keeps smiling at his pregnant boyfriend.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
